Monday, May 26, 2008, it's 9:12 PM.
You would think by now, I would know my way around,
I shouldn't miss you so badly, I should be on familiar ground.
How many more lonely years, must meander by,
until I learn the lesson, it does no good to cry.
What manner of iron will, must some people possess,
to be always looking forward, to never accept regress.
Perhaps if I was willing, to let someone take me by the hand,
they could show me a happy place, in this unfamiliar land.
Perhaps I'm only homesick, for all the joys that once were mine,
I must accept that they and you, belong to another place and time.
But I know that deep within my heart, there's a place where only you reside,
and when the pain of loneliness comes, it knows that is where I hide.
So if sometimes it seems to you, I'm clinging to the past,
it's mostly because I can't yet accept, that our love didn't grow.
No matter how hard I try, I've yet to get over you,
for the part of me that's still alive, believes you love me too.
Maybe there will come a day, when that part will finally die,
and feeling strong with a heart reborn, a new love I will finally try.
And what a splendid day that will be, when I awaken to discover,
I'm happily learning a great new land, with a great new friend and lover.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008, it's 10:11 PM.
ohh.
been ages since i updated this blog of mine. Well, the lack of updates just shops how neutral and boring my life is currently, no aims or whatsoever. Nonetheless, many things are taking a toll on me, such as driving test on June when i only have practised 5 times til now, tests and more test, project report,everyday-mathematics-related-lesson and some affairs of the heart.
So, first thing first, about the driving test. My TP is on June 11, less than one month from now but only recevied 5 trainings. It's either the instructor free and i am not free, or i am free but not the instructor. It's rather hard to come with a time where both of us are free to have the lessons.
Next, tests and more tests. Though RP is the 'open-book' kinda test, it is of no use because if you don understand, you don do it. This brings me to my third point of everyday mathematics related lessons. Everyday, from mon to fri, my lessons are all about calculating, calculating and calculating. Well, i am not a maths person, i am more of a humanity, english person. Give me lessons on customer service or sports but not mathematics. Oh mine. Not good daily grades are rather discouraging.
Last but not least, affairs of the heart. I have got to know a new girl friend, with seriously the hope of starting afresh with my life. Nah, we do not seem to talk alot, so i have decided to... let love come to me, and not to find love. Why ? Because i am so confused.
I may seem the extra third party, but i am just a friend of her. But her bf told her something, something i dunno. So, she started to draw herself away from me, which is very, very very devastating. I would take it in my stride, try. I mean, shouldn he trust her ? well maybe without the 'me' factor, they would live happily ever after but if she has to deliberately stay away from me, to make her bf happy, it is absoutely understandable... BUT, is she happy ? I dunno, if she is, than good for her. If not, i see no point in ... ya.
ahhh. i need a break, faraway maybe to a foreign country for a few days with my family. i need it.
